When I was growing up, I was a fan of the Sith because who doesn’t cheer for cool bad guys in movies? Apollo Creed, Ivan Drago, Chong Li, and Darth Maul to name a few. The Sith were mysterious with the “Rule of Two” and supposedly had access to powers “the Jedi would never teach you.” They looked cooler, dressed cooler, and had menacing, red lightsabers. Everything about them just seemed cool, at least, that’s what I thought as a kid. But as an adult rewatching the movies? I’ve realized an uncomfortable truth, the Sith are actually a bunch of losers.
Rule of Two is Stupid
You spend all that time training an apprentice to kill you? Once he kills you, he takes on a new apprentice and has to start all over from square one? That’s the dumbest cycle I’ve ever heard. Imagine trying to run a company where the only path up the corporate ladder is to kill your boss and then train a new guy to do what you previously did. You’d spend most of your life training a noob how to do the basics.
They Never Win
I mentioned this in another article about Darth Vader never beating anyone significant, but if you think about it, no Sith actually ever beats anyone significant. I guess Darth Maul killed Qui-Gon Jin, but ultimately lost the overall fight to Obi-Wan. You can’t even say Anakin beat Count Dooku in Episode II because he wasn’t Darth Vader at that point yet. Darth Sidious fought Yoda to a stalemate and lost to Mace Windu before he had to fake being weak to turn Anakin.
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Fighting With Feelings
The Jedi preach balance and discipline. The Sith? They’re powered by temper tantrums. Every time something doesn’t go their way, they lash out like angry teenagers. Anakin turned to the Dark Side because he couldn’t handle rejection and nightmares. “Let the anger flow through you?” Come on, man. Kylo Ren smashed more equipment than enemies. Just like in martial arts, the Jedi are true masters who control and channel their inner strength while the Sith channel their… feelings.
The Sith look scary on screen, but that’s all smoke and mirrors. They train apprentices to betray them, lose every meaningful fight, and can’t stop having tantrums long enough to actually accomplish anything. They’re not clever, they’re not scary, and they’re definitely not effective. Unlike Vegeta, the creators could have done them a favor and thrown in a couple of decent victories for them.
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